


tilt your head back (breathe a little deeper)

by icanhinatashouyoutheworld



Series: Haikyuu One Shots [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 07:09:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8318620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icanhinatashouyoutheworld/pseuds/icanhinatashouyoutheworld
Summary: PLEASE, PLEASE CHECK THE TAGS FOR TRIGGER WARNINGS!
Hinata's acting funny.





	

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE make sure you've checked the tags before reading

Hinata Shouyou is never quiet.   
Seriously, Kageyama's spent enough time around him to know that he is never silent. He's always yelling or laughing, tapping a pencil or jumping, hitting the ground with a resounding thump. He even talks in his sleep, for crying out loud, mumbling about spiking and ghosts and breakfast food.

So when he is silent at morning practice, Kageyama is worried.

He is as restless as usual, but it's the wrong kind of restless- he's twiddling his fingers and scraping at his wrists, a distant look in his eyes, as if he is far, far away from this sweaty gym hall in Miyagi.

Kageyama's not the only one to notice, of course: he sees it in the worried glances from Sugawara, Daichi's frowns. Nishinoya and Tanaka are twice as exuberant as usual, making up for the loss of the third "loud, dumb, annoying one" (quote for quote from Tsukishma, who has let Hinata off today), but it feels strange, wrong.

"Oi, idiot," he finally says, and he can feel himself frowning.   
"Mm?" Hinata faces him, but he need meets his eyes. He is digging his nails into his wrist hard now, and Kageyama can see crescent moons patterned over his pale skin.  
"What-"   
Hinata's breaths are coming short and shallow. He tries to smile, but it's as if someone is pulling his mouth harshly from both sides- fake, mechanical. Hinata finally, finally meets his eyes, and they're full of panic, tears, but he still seems so far away and it's the scariest thing in the world.

"What- SAWAMURA-SAN!" Kageyama bellows, and Hinata's breaths are louder and louder and louder and he sinks to his knees and he's got his hands over his ears and he looks like he's _hurting_ and Kageyama hates it, he wants him to stop.

The team rushes towards them, Sugawara gripping Hinata tight. "H-"  
"Don't touch me!" Hinata rasps, and Suagwara lets go like he's been burned. Yachi lets out a sob, and Kageyama wants to weep with her.

Kageyama watches him, helpless, as those violent breaths wrack his small frame. It sounds like it hurts, like someone scraping tunelessly against a violin. They get louder and louder, reaching an awful crescendo. 

"Ukai-kun, please take the rest of the team outside," Takeda says calmly. Nishinoya and Tanaka resist slightly, but faced with Ukai's own scared expression give in and leave.

Kageyama doesn't take his eyes off Hinata. His breathing sounds like it hurts, like someone scraping tunelessly against a violin. The noise settles into Kageyama's brain, and he knows he won't ever be able to forget it.

Takeda bends next to Hinata. "Hinata-kun, is it alright if I'm this close?" Hinata gives a violent nod, eyes still fixed on the wall opposite him, still so far away.

"I want you to count with me, backwards, from one hundred," Takeda says, he's still so calm, and Kageyama doesn't understand how.

"100, 99, 98," Hinata sputters with him, breaths slowing down fractionally. "That's it!" Takeda encourages him, prompting him when he stutters. By forty, his breaths are almost normal.

"Sorry," Hinata says quietly when his breaths finally slow enough. His face is still red, hair stuck flat to his forehead, and he pulls his knees close. They finally make proper eye contact, Hinata looking at Kageyama rather than through him, and relief hits him like a baseball bat to the ribs.

"Can I touch you?" Kageyama mutters.   
"Um, yeah?" and Kageyama seizes his small friend and squeezes him tight, feels his tiny bird like body, and Hinata is stroking his back and murmuring nonsense into his ear. The position is awkward, but Kageyama dares the world to tell him to let go of his best friend.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yoooo xxx this is based off of my own experience with panic attacks, please don't tell me it's "wrong" - mine are probably different to ones you know of- everyone's are different!!! xxx  
> I hope none of you have ever/ ever will experience anything like this though, but I'm always willing to talk if you need it.  
> Big love xxx


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